I know its lame, but it made me laugh so I thought I’d share anyway. Hit the jump for the punchline. Oh Jack, you’re too much for me!
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oh yeah… check the time, that’s right! all nein’s.

Now I’ve seen it all. It looks like he just spit into a jar and called it magical… and look at him running his hands through it. Horf! I don’t care if it is from a unicorn… the love juice of anything other than your mom should be hands off! All of the pictures from the auction page and a link to the Ebay page after the break…

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What the hell kind of messed up world do we live in where this product actually exists?! Yes, It’s a real doll… now excuse me while I go burn down every store that stocks these things, with my brand new Pyro System 2.2!

[via Pole Dancer Doll Doesn't Really Set the Perfect Role Model - Pole Dancer Doll @ Gizmodo]

In a phenominon that seems to be taking the internet by storm (a very slow storm…) another picture has cropped up of someone doing something you wouldn’t normally expect to do on a roller coaster. We’ve see pictures like playing chess or jenga, but this time they are building a house of cards. Oh xkcd, thank you for starting this!

[via I'm Proud Of You: Geekologie Reader Makes House Of Cards On Amusement Park Ride @ Geekologie]

I have nothing to say to this except thanks to Tom for submitting the picture via the NewsTip form

Those tricky bankers and their lingo… Now they’ve got their machine’s using weird language too. No longer will the unknown words of bankers, like amortization or maturity, remain out of everyday life. Check out the picture above of a bank machine in London now. Apparenlty its not alone either, there were a few machines like this one setup in order to amuse the general population. I’de pay good Suasage & Mash to see my 85yr old german grandfather use this machine! That’s for damn sure! Thanks to Bill for this link too, who I should probobly offer a job to, for all the links he’s submitted recently.

[via Cockney cash machine initiative draws mixed reaction from Londoners @ timesonline.co.uk]

Every so often we receive an email around the office that is worth sharing. This just happens to be one of them… Some of these are quite true too. (And if you’re wondering, yes… thats a screenshot of my current inbox… notice the unread count.)

1. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.

8. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or faq’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.

Hit the jump for the full email. Thanks to Bill for the email, I’m glad this one wasn’t a chain letter warning me of death and lameness if I didnt forward it.
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Damn, I can’t even drive, and this little guy can parallel park? Show off… The best part of this video is definitely the reaction he has that he’s done it… “yeah, I just did that. what of it?”. Now on an unrelated note: Excuse me while I go steal a red PowerWheels parked perfectly between two other cars.

[via Kid Showing Off His Parallel Parking Skills @ Geekologie]

When I saw this story in my NewsTip’s Queue I was really expecting something different. Seems it was exactly what it said it was… Zombie Math. Above is just a clipping of the mathmatical calculations required to bore the zombie’s into submission. Or something like that… I think its actually something to do with how to outlast them, but I cant read greek letters very well, so I’m not sure. I know one of those is a lambda (thanks to half-life), but the rest is just Greek… har har!

We introduce a basic model for zombie infection, determine equilibria and their stability, and illustrate the outcome with numerical solutions. We then refine the model to introduce a latent period of zombification, whereby humans are infected, but not infectious, before becoming undead. We then modify the model to include the effects of possible quarantine or a cure. Finally, we examine the impact of regular, impulsive reductions in the number of zombies and derive conditions under which eradication can occur. We show that only quick, aggressive attacks can stave off the doomsday scenario: the collapse of society as zombies overtake us all.

wait… the University of Ottawa is introducing the zombie virus?! Then watching the outcome? Okay so I didn’t read the whole thing, sue me! Thanks to Linda for the story, at least she knows the best way to kill a zombie is by throwing popcorn at it.

[via Zombie apocalpyse: the math geek edition @ boingboing]